Applying this psychology trick, your crush will definitely invite you back on the first date
To those who ate red beans yesterday but haven't found your lover yet, watch and learn...
A few months ago, Sun* News published a post on How to design a perfect first-date?. A guy or girl has quickly made comment like this:
That's why today, on the day after the Qixi Festival (Chinese Valentine’s day) - the day when the people eat red beans with a hope to find a lover, Sun* News decided to give you some tips to meet your wishes as well as to those who have eaten red beans yesterday but have not found one. Just kidding! Although everyone knows "eating red beans" on the Qixi Festival is a perfect trick for someone, perhaps you need to figure out why you have done so many ways but still fail before having the first-date.
So how to get a first-date, or in other words, how can you date someone you have a crush on? This question is difficult, but anyways, to "be professional", try to find your own answer!
"Read the spec" carefully, the chances increase!
It means that you must learn about your object carefully, and understand that person, not just "like" them. Sometimes our feelings are fooled by the outer beauty but we forget the "inner nature" which is the bond between the two. And more importantly, to have a first date, make that person "like" you first, and probably no one will refuse someone understanding them right?
So here, with a bit of "experience", I suggest starting with a hobby first as it is the easiest thing to talk about in conversations, meetings, interactions.
When it comes to options, our human instinct will certainly lead us to choices related to our habits, hobbies, and needs. It's your job to recognize personality trends and what your "target" is interested in. Once you've figured it out, it's easy to reach out, and offer proper dates, such as going to their favorite places, exploring something they're passionate about together,... Especially, they can find your interest is sincere or cliché to decide whether to meet you or not.
Of course, don't be too desperate or too casual if you don't want to be ignored!
The most important thing is: never say "We will have coffee when you are free"!
This is almost a familiar way when you want to date someone you want to meet. However, this is the most "ineffective" and most undesirable invitation I have ever seen. Because there will be no "date" after that offer.
"Have coffee when you are free" means "I am not free to have coffee with you at all". A date like this will not likely happen, because the other person will feel like whatsoever, it doesn't matter to go or not. Just think, how many girls or boys have turned down this offer from you?
Instead, if you really want to have a date with someone, use a "2-option" strategy.
Suppose you want to invite your crush to a cafe, the usual scenario would be like this:
- Hey, how about going to coffee with me today?
- Sorry, I'm busy!
Or
- Hey, wanna have coffee tomorrow?
- Oops, I'm busy again, see you another time!
Then, over and over again, the date will not come. So fail! Of course, that person may not like you back, but if they already have feelings for you, and you use that kind of offer, then surely they do not want to go. So, try out this one:
- Hey, I want to invite you to the coffee shop, but I’m not sure whether you are free tomorrow night or Saturday night?
- I'm busy tomorrow, so Saturday night is fine.
- Oh, so Saturday night at 8:00, I come over to pick you up! We should eat something before coffee, do you want to eat and then coffee?
- I still have work to do, so can we just have coffee?
- It’s fine, as long as we can hang out together!
"Now the date is sure", and you were even invited back!
People often love to make their own choices. They will feel more active instead of being imposed when having the right to choose. For girls, it even makes her: More valuable! Another reason is that when given two options, people rarely think that they have another third option: refuse. It is also called the "blind spot" in this instantaneous perception.
Conclusion
... is that there is no conclusion. These are just very common tips collected by a Sun* News dreamer. It is just to tell you this: As a Sunner, the member of a Digital Creative Studio, we should not give up because of difficulty. Always find new solutions to "difficult" problems, such as the Forever-Alone problem of many serious young Sunners for many years.
Chinese Valentine’s day has gone by, if you have not found one yet, we should not rush to do anything. Just do not give up, determined to conquer "that person" to the end, and do it wholeheartedly, the other half will definitely come to you. Some lonely man has once said: Sit still, love will come!