The adult solitude

After 3 years since I left university and got a job in an international programming company in the capital city, my current life is described by many as "stable". The person who says that word the most is no other than my mom, as in: "Your life is now stable, so get married". Nevertheless, I still wonder: "Can anyone really understand my life, to know that it is never-as-stable as people think". 

I spend my day passionately working for more than 8 hours, surpassing the number of tasks of a 5-day sprint in a week, laughing and joking so much that no teammates can be of level. But after a long day, I still feel so dull and lost, everything is still so empty and distant. 

Have you ever had the same feeling as I do? That is the feeling of solitude. 

I have a friend who is working in the same field in Viettel. With just small talks, he becomes a statue in my heart called "goal in a few years' time": Well-paid jobs, good position, passion, money, a house in Hanoi, a coffee date every night. But one day, he told me: 

“I'm exhausted. I wish I could have someone to understand me and be with me right now. Someone to hold when I'm sad, and someone to be held when I'm happy. It sounds so simple, yet so hard to be true." 

Not that he doesn't have friends or family...he simply doesn't have anyone to hold his heart. There are times that I myself also spend lots of money to get good food, but I don't know who to eat it with, and sometimes I just want to go somewhere far away, or a quiet familiar cafe. And that's it, loneliness in life is completely normal and unavoidable. It's just that sometimes normal things like that oddly repeat.  

Some people can still feel lonely when surrounded by people. They are lonely because nobody understands them, because they cannot share their feelings, because they feel self-conscious, because they are stressed, because they are in too high a position, because of many other things...This feeling is so odd, the lonelier you are, the more you stay alone, which might even lead to depressed and suicidal thoughts. Even though we know that life is hard, when we look at others, we wonder why they are always so happy, so joyful? 

A day in life of a person could also be divided into different moods like: Dynamic in the morning, fatigued at lunch time, tired in the afternoon, and lonely at night... 

Or is it possible that our loneliness comes from our selfishness, waiting for other people's attention? Have you ever wondered: "What should we do to get rid of loneliness?"

My answer is that: not everyone can get rid of it, we are only struggling to escape these feelings. A much simpler thing is learning how to embrace it, then it will soon be gone. 

Instead of drowning yourself in pity - which most of us tend to do when we feel lonely, view it as a motivation for growth. Try to think of how lucky of you to get here, not the you in the future. Try to forget about yourself by caring more for others. Do things for others everyday, even the smallest things like help them or do something that make them smile. I hope that you will feel better, like I am now. 

Finally, always remember that: "You cannot control the things that happen to you, but what you can control is the attitude towards them. That is how you control randomness, rather than letting it control you."

#Bebrave my dear friends

Van Long